A Surprise Visit from the Prophet and an Even More Surprising Message
When my husband and I were serving as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic, we received a surprising phone call. In three days, President Nelson would visit our mission. We felt much like we would probably feel if we heard the Savior was going to return. “Am I prepared? Is my house in order?” However, in this case, we hoped that our missionaries were prepared, that our missionaries were in order! They wouldn’t even have a p-day before the prophet came. Would their shirts be clean and pressed? Would their hair look neat and tidy? Would the prophet feel their devotion? The missionaries planned to go to bed early the night before the prophet’s visit so they could rise in time to travel the distance required to arrive at the meeting house in time. They also fasted so they would be prepared for his visit.
We were not told the reason for the prophet’s decision to visit the Caribbean on short notice. We were told that a few days earlier, he woke up in the early morning hours with the impression he needed to visit the Caribbean. He consulted his secretary to see when time was available on the schedule. The first opening was sometime the following year. President Nelson noted that the upcoming Labor Day weekend was open, but he was informed that his staff would be on vacation. Their vacations must have been cancelled because that’s when he came to our mission.
However it happened, we were thrilled. I wrote in my journal regarding our missionaries, “They are so full of faith, and we feel so blessed to have this faith-promoting experience available to them.”
The day the prophet arrived, all our missionaries from the Santo Domingo East Mission, as well as those from the Santo Domingo West Mission and some staying in the Dominican Republic Mission Training Center, were crowded upstairs in a small chapel in Gazcue. A much larger, more modern building was available a few miles to the West; however, the prophet desired to meet in a space that accommodated only the missionaries.
Bret and I were invited to sit on the stand along with the other two mission presidents and their wives. Another surprise came when the prophet announced he would like all the mission presidents and their wives to bear their testimony, and he wanted the wives to go first! I had had plenty of experience with public speaking, but speaking in front of the prophet was especially daunting for me. Of all the things I could bear testimony of, what should I say on this rare occasion?
I came to the pulpit with my husband at my side. President Nelson stood on the other side of Bret, his arm resting supportively on Bret’s shoulder. To be embraced by a prophet was so empowering! If we ever thought that our burden was too heavy to bear or that leading the mission was too difficult a task, those fears vanished when we felt the prophet’s confidence in us. I had recently had an amazing experience confirming to me that President Nelson was the Lord’s choice to be a prophet at this time, and this was the experience I decided to share in my testimony.
The sisters from our mission were sitting in the front two rows of the chapel, the elders right behind them. I could see their eyes as I spoke. And the photographers who roamed the room confirmed what I witnessed. They wept as they, too, felt the confirmation from the Spirit that President Nelson was, indeed, God’s mouthpiece on the earth. Knowing this was especially important in preparing them for what the prophet would tell them that day.
After all the mission presidents and their wives had borne their testimonies, President Nelson came to the pulpit. He announced that he had a message for the sisters, and that it might take their minds off their mission for just a minute, but after he spoke, they could return to thinking about missionary work, and after their missions, they should recall what he had to say.
“Sisters,” he continued, “When you return from your mission and meet your prince charming, and he asks for your hand in marriage, you tell him, ‘no’.” He emphasized the “no” with such conviction that the sisters gasped. They turned their heads and looked at one another, as if to make sure they heard him correctly. After a long and very effective pause, the prophet finished his message. “You tell him ‘no’ unless he loves God first.” We all let out our breath. These sisters were not being asked to live as nuns. They were being instructed with wisdom, experience, and direction from above.
As a marriage and family therapist, I counseled many people, both women and men, who were preparing for marriage. Some were having doubts about marriage and were wondering how to make the right choice about who they would marry. I had all kinds of resources available to me that I could use to help them choose a compatible eternal companion. I had read dozens of books and studied at length with experts who had done extensive research on what makes a compatible marriage. However, no one gave advice as sound as this advice from President Nelson, “Make sure he loves God first.”
This counsel might not sound very romantic. Maybe these sisters wanted to be the person their spouses loved best of all. Maybe they would feel that their spouse didn’t love them enough if they were not the most important person in his life. However, my own experience as a therapist, and having been married to my sweetheart for 43 years, has convinced me there is no better advice. A man who loves God first will treat his wife the way she deserves to be treated, as a beloved daughter of God. She will feel far more special when she is married to a man who loves God first than she ever would be married to a man who does not love God first.
My husband, who is now serving as a stake president, likes to tell this story to young adults, and even to married couples. He always reveals that he is married to a woman who loves God first. And he adds with his trademark sense of humor, “I am not jealous of that.”
Bret and JeaNette Smith served as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic from 2017 to 2020. They returned home just after the pandemic re-vamped their mission. But that is an adventure tale for another day.